What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
