So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
