May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
