i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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