Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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