Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
