Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize