It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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