Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There r osticjed everywhere
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh god it's open bar.
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