So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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