I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
