Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
