Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
