walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
