Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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