Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
