he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize