Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
