chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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