butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This baby is an asshole
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
