Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
