well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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