Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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