I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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