We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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