saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize