I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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