it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
