Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize