I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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