im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize