You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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