At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
