i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
