Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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