i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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