But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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