I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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