You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize