Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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