I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
