"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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