I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
