I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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