This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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