She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You can't just leave with hair like that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
