Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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