I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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