Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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