She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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