the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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