so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
