I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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