It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
