she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
