i already hear my dad disowning me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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