everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dignity is for republicans.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
